To the Shining Seraph...

     And thus I lied sleepless, exhausted in the dark. The coming dawn doing nothing to dispel the darkness; that haze traveling with me just over my shoulder. What was it? Depression- killing, or hate towards those who could walk in the light of life, complete? I pondered this, as I drudged through yet another meaningless day. Waiting, but for what?

     Another night, nocturnal. The worst thoughts burst forth at midnight; those terrible, Lovecraftian ideas that fear the sun cannot be surpressed in the dark, alone. I pondered my own death many a time in that dark, if only to finally sleep.

     As night was spent nocturnal, morning was meaningless. I waited still. Desperate. Seeking some seductive cure to heal me of the emptiness inside, clawing. As exhaustion overtook my mind, I was able to sleep. This was simply a shadow of sleep, haunted by spectres, sparring my Self.

     The darkness cleared, abrubtly. A shining seraph dealt the killing blow. Clarity followed, my wait was over. Now the work would begin. Into the Light I followed this angel, knowing now what was missing. The haze dispelled, my path was clear; so I marched stubbornly forwards against the spectres of my past, my doubts of the future, and my mistrust of my mind.

     Over a year passed before I finally caught her. I was ready at long last to beg the hand of the Angel, fully expecting failure... But the answer was yes, and that which I had so long desired mine. What was hole now whole, I rejoiced.

     It has been two years since that sweet Seraph saved me from myself, and nearly a year still that she saved me from my solitude. She is my life, my heart, my love, and I cannot.. Will not be severed from her, for that will surely be my end. As I sit now, slipping into the True sleep she has granted me, dreams of her obstructing my thoughts.. I am kept awake not of darkness, but of graditude.

     I thank you, my dear. For your love, for my life, for giving me a reason to try, for giving me dreams, and for filling the space inside that only you ever could. But most of all, I want to thank you for standing by me this past year, and being the most trusted and best friend I've ever had. I can only plead you stay with me in the coming year, and all those after.

     I love you with all that I am, and I'm going to tell you that until you know, with all that you are.

          ~D~